12 Differences of Every Multicultural Relationships
Ruben and I started this relationship just like a lot of the people who met for the first time and fell in love. Everything was new, and everything was beautiful and everything feels full of hope. And that’s the beauty when things are new and different. But it doesn’t come without a downside.
If you’ve followed our story from the beginning, you’ll know that Ruben and I met while he was in the middle of a year long travel around the world after selling his home in Spain. That was a time he felt truly free. No debts in his country. And he travels around the world. It didn’t matter that he backpacked hard. It was his adventure and it was the best time of his life.
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Meanwhile, on my part of the world, I was also in the middle of the biggest changes in my life. As a top student and a big extrovert from my school years, I was a single mom to a very young baby and burned bridges. So I can begin a career from home – a move I did not understand but I know I needed and I wanted. I wanted to be mostly available to my baby when he needs me and I gave up everything I know and started a life from scratch – one of the most exhilarating yet hardest things I had to do in my life.
When Ruben and I met things were immediately magic. But again, coming from two different cultures, we were basically wired to act and think very different from each other. Which is quite surprising when you see how much we actually get along.
The first few years of our relationship were mostly long distance. Ruben flew to various countries, as he has planned while I’m at home, building a new life as a mom and as an online freelancer.
I brought something new to Ruben’s life – working from home which is basically working from everywhere. He brought something very new to my life. Traveling every day. And together, we dreamed and set a goal of sharing our story and using that storytelling as our main source of income. We educated ourselves and that part still hasn’t stopped until today.
Read here Things to know before visiting the Philippines and budget travel in the Philippines!
Multicultural Relationships Main Differences
The main differences we have in terms of culture and who we are:
1. How we handle time
Ruben’s super productive. He’s focused and whether he’s in a quiet coffee shop or a noisy bus station. When he sits down he can grab his computer and get work done. I am totally the opposite. I need time to relax my mind, I need the vibe of the place to be good, and most of all I need to have the energy and enthusiast to work. And then I can start to work.
Ruben is super efficient while I always aim to be perfect and effective. I contemplate a lot if what I’m doing is useful and how to do things better all the time while Ruben just crosses to do’s like it’s nothing – ha!
2. How we communicate
Ruben’s upfront and brutal and doesn’t take delays. I personally am quiet contemplating. But I take my point of view seriously. And I may be very emotional and screaming in my head but you won’t see it in my face. It’s hard to trigger me which tends to be worse they said because then you can reach a boiling point from almost anything because you’ve been fent up. Ruben confronts easily and fast.
3. How we handle fun
Ruben is always calculating. You need to be when you’re juggling a blog, a business and a kid, plus our relationship. I like to do things by what I feel, on a whim, full of energy and emotions. When things are for fun I want them to be super fun. When things are serious I internally contemplate the real fun and intentions of it.
4. How we handle work
He’s serious and fast, just like a real Western. And I like to take shortcuts. Just like Filipinos like to do. Although, since I take more calculated shortcuts than most people. I know where I’m very good at and I know my weaknesses. So I stretch and push things as fast as I can.
5. In Goal Setting
I like to dream and visualize. To get lost and feel inspired. Ruben likes to decide what needs to be done. And think about today than to be too futuristic. I think about future and Ruben only likes to think about present.
6. How we Travel
I like traveling slow with luxury and comfort. Ruben is a hardcore traveling before we started hitchhiking and sleeping in local places. At one point we mixed because catching up with work we need to stay online. Something that both of us love while traveling is meeting people and trying local food.
7. Affectionate Part
Here we are pretty similar since I’m not a typical Filipino shy I’m more kind of extrovert. Ruben coming from Spain where people are affectionate always hugging and kissing when meeting each other.
Good Things in Multicultural Relationship
8. We complete each other
In life and work since we do together and we spend almost 24 hours together. Yes guys! You read properly we spend all our time together. So we balance what are your skills? You are well organizing but not so good in learning new concepts.
9. Not Stop Learning
Thanks to our trips and meeting friends and family each other we never stop learning things of new cultures about religion, people, food and history. That’s crazy good!
10. No prejudice
We all of them are the same as a person. Even we come from a different culture and country. All of us are human and we need to learn to respect each others.
11. Take Life Easy
Ruben is coming from Spain which is a competitive world. People are always in a competition in their job. So much stress trying to take advantage of their time to do more things during the day. Coming to a relaxed country like Philippines. He learnt how to relax himself and something not taking really serious.
12. Sense of Humor
Totally different when we make jokes in the Philippines than Spain. I would say most of the jokes in Spain are green jokes and black humor most of the time talking face to face. Here in the Philippines is softer and more visual our sense of humor using internet and images for this.
Challenges that we have
We still have challenges to learn. Because we always talk in English since in the Philippines is so common. So Ruben isn’t learning taglish and that’s a barrier sometimes in the Philippines. The same way that I can’t speak Spanish is a barrier when traveling Ruben meets Spanish speakers. Or I visit his family and friends who can’t speak anything in English.
Also we have professional challenges like growing our blog and our Instagram community. We love inspiring people thru our travels and help them planning new destinations. For us travel is amazing visiting places, meeting people, trying local food wherever we go and learning about the country that we visit.
Are you in Multicultural relationship? Share with us your questions or previous experiences! We’d love to hear from you!